i made a decision today to help my health. i've been doing some research about herbal supplements that help stop sugar cravings. the best one it seems is ginseng. not only does it help stop sugar cravings, it helps with depression, boosts immunity, boost energy, helps with your wellbeing, and helps with mental focus and stress. in a nut shell, i bought ginseng supplement and devil's claw. devil's claw is anti-inflammatory and helps with pain too.. this joint pain is making me miserable, so enough is enough.. and CBD and tumeric wasn't working anymore..
i took 2 pills of each and i felt better right then. i don't know if that's my hopeful wishing or maybe it works that fast. but i do feel better..
my lisinopril has been upped for blood pressure and i started metformin last month to help lower sugar levels. but it seemed that my sugar cravings went off the charts. i couldn't stop until now..
today i am drinking water.. i need to drink more water.. i'm only borderline diabetic which wasn't bad enough to get some help from the diabetes/endocrine center to help me with eating plan. i'm not sure if i should be happy i'm not diabetic becuz only if i was, then i would get help.. figures.. so more figuring things out on my own..
i got rid of my gym membership and my verizon cellphone.. i had no motivation to go to the gym and my joints are hurting and i had to realize that i couldn't keep my 666 phone#, it wasn't realistic. i have a local number that is good enough.. my goth # gone now, i am sad..
Dad and Jeff haven't gone back to work full time yet, so Dad's been home more to take care of Mom, but i see that it's wearing him out.. i am always available when he needs help, that is why i am not working.. usually on fridays and the weekends, he wants to get away for a few hours, i don't say no, he deserves the break.. he gets more frustrated with Mom's dementia antics than i do.. becuz i went to support group meetings to learn more about the condition.. that's what i am, the researcher, the problem solver and the go-to gal for everything.. and that's what i have to be for this journey..
i found an ottoman for Mom to put her feet up to help reduce the swelling in her legs, $5 at a hospice thrift shop! Dad didn't want to spend any money to get a power chair and Medicare doesn't pay for equipment.. the ottoman has helped her lean back in the seat instead of leaning forward to lay her head in her lap.. it wasn't a good position for her to sleep in, her head on her lap.. now she sleeps with a neck pillow around the front of her neck, for if she sleeps with her head down and her feet up making her sit back.. instead of $1000 chair, i got a $5 ottoman.. geez the way you have to figure out to make things work..
it's been 6 months since i worked at a job.. i think i miss working.. i can't believe i said that.. probably becuz caregiving for a dementia patient who is also your mother and be leaned on a lot by your dad to help him with everything else too, is very hard and draining and depressing.. and i'm seeing what i'm missing..
hanging out with friends, dating.. i don't have a somebody to be with..
i don't have anything to really live for.. except my Sis and her little boy.. but there's nothing really for me, like my own child or a boyfriend...
this is what dementia does.. it takes you away from living life.. this is why most family caregiver die too soon.. they lose their will to live and want to die..
becuz they feel like they are in an empty black hole..
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