Well I had to quit my job... it was so toxic to me that it changed my personality to someone who was meaner and angry at everyone, especially at home.. i didn't realize that this had happened to me until it was pointed out the day after i had quit.. Sis mentioned that i was much lighter and nicer again..
No i didn't have another job lined up, when i was pushed as far as i had been, i didn't care about having another job ready to move into..
it was a brilliant way i did it too.. no explanations, no "story" to give.. i just said, "today is my last day".. and that was all i gave.. of course, it was a day where 3 people had called out too.. so i couldn't just say i quit and walk.. i'm sure i could have but it was hard enough with me covering for patient check-ins and the manager doing my chart prepping job.. it was THE MOST STRESSFUL day of my life.. and i felt i could do it becuz the next day i wasn't coming back.. i didn't tell anyone else either.. so i'm sure they got a big surprize when i didn't show up for work on Tuesday.. i just worked as if i was going to be there all week..
you can't imagine the pure relief i felt after leaving that job, it felt like a fist that's been clenched for too long, trying to open its hand.. i was replaying all sorts of scenarios of how i could have said things, but i felt that my lack of explaining myself or have "a cover story" to make me seem more noble in why i'm leaving them short staffed on short notice, worked more in my favor, so there would be no ammo used against me, other than possible "no notice, job abandonment".. i didn't care becuz all things must end badly or else they will never end.. i couldn't stomach doing things the "proper way" and work the two weeks notice.. and giving two weeks notice is only a courtesy and not a mandatory thing.. and that office did nothing to me that was courteous or even respectful..
behind my back, FAT women were making fun of me and making faces and even going so far as to follow me down the hallways making gestures and mimicking me in exaggeration ways.. and one woman whom i had depended on for information and help, had been speaking behind my back about how i was too stupid to do my job.. i was in utter shock to learn of this.. i thought that i had been accepted into their office.. i guess not when the bullying started by one of the long time un-certified MAs.. she had begun to harass me about every little thing that i did wrong with my job and she would harp at me like she was talking to a child.. and then i would get daily notes about what i screwed up, and then the manager would start to double check my work and give me more notes.. i had no encouragement or even any positive feedback at all.. i can't improve if everything i do is wrong.. i knew it was the end for me.. becuz of the daily harassment, i kept getting worse at my job, even tho i tried harder to do better, it wasn't good enough.. and everyone was always too busy to help me.. it was a losing battle..
so for the last couple of months, i would involuntarily cry on my commute to work.. i had dreaded going to work every day.. and then i started having panic attacks when i got home..
my health was taking a turn for the worst.. my blood pressure was rising to almost heart attack level.. and now that i'm not working there.. i'm sure i'm back to near normal level..
i get my old job back of watching Mom.. but Dad has been home the last few days, so i took that time to sleep and rest.. i sure deserved it and earned it..
i told my career services adviser about what happened on Monday.. she wasn't at work that day becuz she had a flat tire.. but she said that if i wasn't happy at all working there, it was ok that i did what i did.. she was worried that i might be labeled under job abandonment for that office.. C told me that i needed to rest and recupe from that horrible experience and also be looking for job openings.. she said that what i did was ok and it was survival..
i had to lie to my Dad tho.. i told him i was fired.. i'm sure i would have been after they were done torturing me.. he doesn't want to hear about quitting a job becuz of emotional distress, he's old school German and doesn't believe in such petty things.. work is work and you do your work and not care about what people say about you.. is what he would always say..
he asked if i was gonna get unemployment, i said i wouldn't becuz they would make up a reason to not pay it.. what Dad doesn't know won't hurt him.. at least he's happy now that i'm available to help him with Mom again..
Sis is stepping up to go back to the long hours at work to pay the house bills and my bills..
This has made her happy too.. she had been so unhappy with me working full time and her cut of pay and hours.. she would make comments to me all the time about her lack of money..
and i'm not going back to pizza.. my car is overheating and i have no money to repair it and they don't have any openings for me anyway..
i'm just gonna enjoy my healing time, to get over the horrors i escaped from.. and work on job applications.. and find something that i can enjoy doing..
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