i'm being betrayed..

i don't know what twisted game Dad is playing with me and Sis..
pitting us against our little sister, who is always the 
golden child to Mom and Dad..
we know that they are leaving everything to her 
and we will get nothing..

Dad has been telling baby sis that we are leeching 
off of them becuz they had "to rescue us" and 
they are "doing us a favor to help us out"..

who called me to come back to arizona to help out Mom?
who told me that they were getting me a house 
across the street from them so i could be close enough 
to help Mom when she needed it??
who called crying, that they wanted their children 
to come home??

Mom and Dad..

but yet, me and Sis are leeches..

and while we are here, doing the right thing, 
to look after Mom for Dad, while he's working..  
all the crap we've had to endure from her rantings,  
all the demands Dad has put on me, to help Mom do 
her job for his business..
and yet,  i will get no reward for all of this effort and 
for being the good daughter, which apparently i'm not..

i have been raised to be a failure, becuz i am 42 and 
have not been able to secure a financial future for myself..
my self-esteem and confidence had been destroyed by Mom,
while i was growing up, becuz of her jealousy that 
her children would do better than she did..
i have had to live from paycheck to paycheck, 
not able to save any monies that would give me a stable future..
i was not given the skills to do this..
i am disgusted with myself that i am 42 and 
i have no savings what-so-ever..
i didn't buy my own home, i did buy a car, 
which is now 15 yrs old and practically on its last legs..

and baby sister is gonna reap my rewards that 
should come to me..

i just love how family fucks you over the most in life..
jobs, friends always come and go, but family is blood and 
you can't pick your blood..  and those are the people that 
have always fucked me over and over and over again..
but i take it becuz maybe in the afterlife, i might be told 
that i have been a good daughter and sister for 
sacrificing my life and happiness to pay for them..

well a couple of good things have come out of this..
i live rent and utility free..  Dad does pay for those 
in partial compensation for spending most of my time 
with Mom..
and..  i recently have been hired to work at a local hotel resort..

it's not much, but it will be money coming in and i will get benefits
after 90 days..  and it's full time..
so a new Mom schedule is gonna have to happen 
when i start working again..

Sis got a new job too, she will be working again and 
the good thing with erik here, is that he can watch after little c..
little c will be starting school soon too, we've all been 
looking forward to that, including him..
he finished kindercamp a week ago, and he really liked it..

the world keeps spinning and i don't feel any better knowing
what i know is going to happen after my parents die..

i'm hoping that it will change..  
maybe with the time we have, we can get Dad 
to re-think the plans and include me and Sis..
we haven't done anything wrong and don't deserve 
to be shit on..

gods of the universe, please help us get what 
we rightfully deserve..