you know those letters you aren't supposed to send, yeah i sent it..

i just sent Paul an email, laying it all out there about how i felt about being used for money, which he knows i really don't have and which have accumulated to the range of $200, which he had promised to pay me back..

after all those weeks of being bragged to about how much bankroll of money he was getting for working for "rich" clients, he now is changing his tune and is claiming that all those "thousands of dollars" had, he spent it on house bills, rent and such..
after i asked him to pay me back that money so that i could pay my bills..
and every time he calls me, he constantly tells me how broke he is, and what he's spent his money on,  for repairs on his truck or something for bills for the apartment 
or whatever he can think of, just to shut me up..

and every time he tells me any bullshit, i just say..  "uh huh"..
he knows that i don't believe him and he continues on with his bullshit hoping that either he or i will believe it..  

and so i penned a sort of angry email confronting him that he's been trying to feed me bullshit and never had any intention of pay me back and he should have just told me in the first place that he wouldn't be able to pay me back at all and i wouldn't have continued to give him financial help..

so now all that anger i had festering in me is gone and i know that i will never see a penny of what is owed to me and i let him know that it will never happen again..

let's see what kind of phone call i get next time..  i wonder if it will be massive ass kissing and promises of sexual ecstasy..
oh wait, he's already done that..  LOL!

i don't want to not continue whatever it is we are doing..
what it mostly is, is just the best sex sessions ever in my life, with
fantasies of having a life together again..
(which will never happen (having another shot at a life together),
becuz Paul just isn't grown up enough to really follow thru, even tho he is 46 yrs old)..

but the whole point is..  i'm not angry anymore..  and we'll see who reads it, since
he lets his old lady gf in his email account.. (stupid idiot)..
and i even sent the email under my real name..
yeah that should chap her ass pretty good that she thinks we haven't seen each
other since the whole fiasco..  when we have continued at a very downlow affair..

i'm still waiting to see a wedding announcement in the paper that he's gonna marry her..  it's only a matter of time, even tho he keeps denying it..
she has been telling people he is her fiance'..  and he hasn't made any attempt to
move into his own place, if he didn't want to be with her..
all these clues just keep piling up and he keeps denying that they aren't what they
seem to be..

fool, please, just own up to something for once in your life.. 
oh yeah, he won't, even tho it's blatantly obvious..

this is a better soap than the soaps on tv..  LOL!!