coffin of ruins..

Paul contacted me after 3 months of silence..


i don't know why i took the messages or even listened to his explanations..  


he will just betray me again but there's some weird sick reason why i keep wanting him and now our relationship is just a sexual one..
even tho he keeps saying about how he's gonna leave her and we're gonna live together and we're gonna have children and he wants to go to sleep with me in bed and wake up with me in bed..
it just seems that everytime we get together, we have sex..
and it's the most mindblowing, amazing, out of body experience type sex!
i think that's why i do waste my time with him..  his sexual skills have so improved in 15 yrs that it is the best i've ever had, and i have had a few and none could come close to how orgasmic he makes me feel..


i'm a sick freak that enjoys the torture..