things i'm good at..

i'm very good at ; holding grudges and hating..

my now ex-roommate has bailed on me with only 12 hours notice and some lame explaination of his ride to work going to jail up to a year..
i even offered to drive him to work in the morning, but he flat out refused..
and that made me wonder what he really wasn't telling me..

but then i really shouldn't trust what he says, the company he works for hires ex-cons, druggies and criminals of all ranges, also including illegal mexicans..
he's an ex-east LA gangbanger himself, so i really can't do anything or else i would be suffering some consequences..

he has been paying me what he owes for this last month.. so that's a good thing, but also bad becuz i'm now back to square one..
he has yet to move his crap out of here, and i will be charging him a storage fee if he doesn't move it out within the next couple of weeks.. since it's not fair to me to hold his crap and he's not here to pay rent..

when he came to pay me last week, i really had to hold my tongue becuz i am so angry at him for bailing..
and then after he talked to me for a few mins, as if things were ok, and then packed some of his clothes, i left to get away from him, i had the huge urge to chew him out and even wanting to kick his ass.. but i know it would do no good..

he better not think that he can move back in.. you don't just out of the blue say, "oh yeah i might have to move becuz i won't have a ride to work anymore.."

that is not cool to do.. bastard..

i'm am not cool with this, i am so far from ok with this as one can get..
but becuz he's the father of my neighbor, and the neighbors are really tight with the landlords, i have to pretend that things are peachy and ok..

but my insides boil whenever i see him or even when i think about this whole thing..
and no thanks to this extra stress on me, i now have a bit of high blood pressure..
i hate feeling like this.. i hate feeling like a volcano ready to blow but yet i have to keep the cap on it.. not to explode and let all this out, it hurts..