don't you hate it.. when nothing goes as you want?

well.. the job hunt in vegas.. didn't work out..

i spent a month and a half filling out paperwork.. and then waiting..
they mostly have this "don't call us, we'll call you" policy.. and so you don't know if you should call them to find out what's the deal.. or just wait for them to call you..
which they don't..

i bugged the radio stations for 3 weeks straight.. and they ended up telling me to stop calling.. becuz i will be called if they want me for interviews..
how freaking frustrating is that??! pretty damm frustrating..!!

and then i went to 2 more casino interviews.. and they told me to wait 7 to 10 days for their answer..
which i waited 2 weeks at my sister's house in AZ.. and there were no calls.. at all..

so i had enough of the bullshit.. and decided to come back to california..
i got my job back at the radio station.. and just did my first shift tonight..
working the local sports.. college men's basketball..
and first i was nervous.. afraid that i forgot how to work the board.. and so i came in early to review my notes.. and once i was there.. it was like i never forgot..

everyone is pretty happy to have me back! i'm not sure if i'm glad to be back..
i kinda feel like a failure..
i had everything planned.. and somehow.. the plan just didn't work out..

i haven't called my job counselor yet.. becuz the substitute one.. told me to just hang in there and ride it out..
easy for her to say.. she has a job..
i just couldn't afford to stay in vegas... i didn't want to run out of money and then become stuck..
how would that help me??
and from what i heard.. vegas takes months and months before they even call back..
so i thought.. fuck it.. i'll just wait back at my house.. and do more radio resume packages..
cuz i'll have the time to do so..

and so.. i'm back home..
missing my sister and her new baby.. becuz i spent two weeks with her and the baby..
he's the cutest little thing.. and just so cuddly.. and he didn't want to be put down..
he always wanted to be held by someone..

they be here around the middle of january.. and so i'm in the process of cleaning this place pretty good for them..
i need a dehumidifier, to get rid of the smells.. of old smokes and cats..
and i'm borrowing a steam cleaner to clean the carpets that the cats spent the last month and a half pissing on..
this place smells so bad.. that my allergies have blocked my sense of smell..

that's pretty bad..