it's eating at me again..
i feel it gnawing at me..
especially now..
i was watching the 3rd season of Forever Knight when in one episode that Natalie was demanding of Nick to make the committment to be with her..
and that her life felt empty and that she didn't have anyone to share her life with..
that is how i am feeling..
i am feeling empty..
i know that i am doing all these good things to better my life but it seems empty..
i think about the last 9 yrs that i've isolated myself.. and how my heart is black and cold.. and can only feel pain..
that there is no one to help ease the pain..
and so here i sit.. at almost 5:30 in the morning.. writing it down..
tears streaming down my face in rivers..
my heart aching with the pain of loneliness and wanting..
and all i have are my imaginations.. and my dreams.. of what i'm missing..
and what i want.. but can't seem to reach out and take it..
becuz when i find it.. it belongs to someone else.. and is never for me..
Monday, March 26, 2007
my black heart..
Posted by Obsidian Shadows at 5:06 AM
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2 comments:
my dear dana,you know i feel the same way..I imagine you know how I feel in alot of ways..I know tears..longing..I too man empty except for what you give me..and my soul is starving..I'll never have the love I want..I just have to resign myself to that fate..
and by the way,I care more about you than I do my goddamn girlfriend..Iican anc could live without having her in my life again..but not having you,that's something else entirely..i don't think I could live without you..nor would I want to..it'd totally crush me..
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