sabotaged..

my plans for my move to vegas.. seems to have been sabotaged..
mostly becuz i put my trust in a person who i thought was working to help me
better my life.. and to get me what i wanted..

instead.. she's put me on such a roller coaster..
getting my hopes up.. asking me to do research..
with promises of possible fulfillment..
only to smash my hopes in the end..

and when i get stressed out so much.. my body does funny things..
like this excessive and too long lasting of menstrual bleeding.. (possibly 2 months now)
i'm sure that this is a stress induced thing..

and it angers me.. no.. it infuriates me to a boiling point again..
she strung me along for 8 months.. with nothing for me but anxiety, anger, and depression..

this is just making me want to leave all that much more..

my sister says that maybe the fates.. or the signs.. or whatever forces are keeping me from leaving.. for a reason..
she says that each event is a clear sign that i'm not to leave yet..

and that depresses me even more..
what more am i to do here..? i don't want to stay..

i feel sick in my stomach now..