it's your choice to take the knife, one decision brings the afterlife ...

not much has been worth blogging about since the 

CALABRESE live show in Vegas back in April..

Mom was so upset that we borrowed the truck to go to Vegas for the show, she didn't remember that we had asked her permission for it, Dad said that we could take it as long as we cleaned it out and gassed it up..

Mom was livid when we came back at dawn, it was horrible to try to explain anything, i gave her the items i picked up for her at the show, and the signed poster, she threw them on the floor, i picked them up right away, afraid that she was gonna destroy them..

she just was in my face, and i mean literally, standing nose to nose with me, yelling at me about taking the truck..

all i could do was apologize that she didn't remember that she had given us permission, a few days earlier..

i told her that the truck was fine, we gassed it up and cleaned it out and everything was alright..

she still to this day tells people that i took her truck without permission, oh well, i can't ever win against dementia..

Dad couldn't help me much, other than keep telling her that he said it was alright for us to take the truck..

that whole nightmare event took 30 mins and it took a year off my life, 

i thought that i could hold onto the best feeling i ever had from the show, but Mom as always seems to be able to crush and destroy anything that is good in my life..

and it is not easy to just let it roll off your back when you are being yelled at by your mom, even tho she has dementia..

i couldn't stop the tears from falling, but i didn't react to her yelling..

it still was all worth it, and we will do it again..

for father's day, Dad took us out to sunday lunch..

me and Sis tried to not let him pay since it was father's day, but he snagged the bill from the waitress faster than we could..

all of us sisters, got Dad giftcards to his favorite bar and grill place, where we had lunch..  he was happy about that..

my job still sucks..

the GM is on her way out with the new owners and new DM,

but so far nothing has really happened yet, i'm not having any

faith that good changes will be happening..  and now she's giving me

anxiety and my stomach in knots becuz she's taken off every holiday weekend to leave us in a under staffed mess where everyone is doing multiple jobs to make it thru the day, it's always so stressful, while GM is lounging and having sex with her boyfriend, which is way more important that helping out the store..

i'm not having my hopes up about her firing, it should have been done the first holiday weekend that the new owners took over and so far, she's gotten away with 2 holiday weekends off while we struggled to survive the days..

gotta get my give a fuck button switched off, otherwise this will eat me up inside more than it has, and it's coming down to i really hate my job now..

yes, i've been applying to other places online..

nobody responds in a timely manner around here, and that pisses me off so much..

phleb jobs have been always filled before i can apply, and other jobs with their stupid personality tests are telling me that i'm not good enough to wash dishes at chili's.. LOL!

and finally,

thanks to Jimmy Calabrese, bass player,

he inspired me to start a podcast radio show..

i didn't have the equipment but i knew of someone who would know

all about it, and we've teamed up to create EMZT RADIO podcast..

a horror show, where we talk about horror in movies/tv, music, books and even horror type topics, like practical guide for the zombie apocalypse, that will be interesting chat..

and to do the music you have to pay for a music license, for royalty fees to the bands, there is a way around it, if we use unsigned bands..

which i'm trying to contact the many bands from vampirefreaks.com ,

and those bands are part of the horror type genre..

so far we completed one show, but me and MJ have such good chemistry we easily get on a tangent about subjects..

i have a structured list to follow and our first show, which took 3 days to do over and over again, becuz of equipment malfunctions..

but we finally got it recorded and i had made the theme intro and outro, which sounded so great!!  

i work on the booking side, trying to book interviews of bands and other horror genre celebrities, and trying to get bands' permissions to use their music..  and MJ does more of the business side..

he's already planning a merch page on amazon.com and set up a donation part on our podcast page to help us pay for our podcast expenses..

he's even looking into being up on ITUNES and SOUNDCLOUD!

i mean, this guy has a vision of how far we can go, i also suggested the horror conventions and comic con circuits, which he thought is a great idea!

it's been quite a rollercoaster of a year so far!

and with the new podcast show to occupy some of my time,

it will be a good distraction from the things that bring me down..

i'm just waiting for Halloween, it will be great, with my new costume and makeup, i will be having a blast..

and then hopefully, Mom can be visiting Florida again for longer than 2 months..  if i can talk my dad into it..