crawl onto a headstone and lie inside the grave...

Mom has been on a rampage from Hell since yesterday..

i went to do my daily visit with her, and usually it's been very pleasant, but yesterday..
F!#$K!  she was yelling at me for 2 hours about everything..  and all i did was say Hi..
and i couldn't keep my mouth shut this time, everything she was saying was just making the tears run down my face..
and i was also answering her with jabberwocky poem lines, which she didn't even skip a beat and continued her tirade..
after 2 hours, i told her that i had enough and that i'm gotta go clean my kitchen..
and then while i was alone in the house, i had a tirade that mom will never hear about how she is the one who has damaged us and raised us to be failures and she always sabotages us when we try to accomplish something good..  or she tears us down after we did do something amazing..

and then later i was called to drive her into town..    she continued yelling at me in the car on the whole drive down there..  i clenched my mouth tight..
i had physically felt like i had been beaten in a brawl that i lost..  
and mom was happy as a clam seeing that i was not happy..  

i don't know how much longer she will go on this rampage..

she seems to be a cycling bi-polar, we get a couple of weeks of good mood and then BOOM!!  the mega cunt on steroid overdose from hell is here, tearing the family to shreds..

i'm worried about her latest tirade about killing people who piss her off..
she thinks that there will be no consequences for her murdering people, 
becuz she feels justified that murdering them is in her best interest and 
whatever she issue she has with them, will be over when they're dead..

and she has been on a tirade about my weight too..
and now..  i can't eat..  except little bites of food..
no more meals..  she has me so rattled and frazzled over this, i can't even
consider having meals anymore..  it's repulsive to me...
food is no longer an enjoyable event anymore..
no more comfort food..  it doesn't make me feel better anymore..
thanks mom, thanks for destroying something else i used to enjoy..
maybe it will be a good thing so starve some of my fat ass off..
i know i am sick of being fat, but it won't make a difference to her, she'll
find something else to bitch about me..

i don't know how long she will be in cunt mode, but we are hating it so much..