the secret affair..

being the other woman, usually they take the men's time away from their
main woman at home..
but that is not the case with me.. as the other woman..

i only get bits of time whenever we can meet, becuz when she
starts calling his phone constantly, he's worried that she will
call the police to go look for him and call all his friends and so
he has to leave..

i am in love with him but it's different this time..
i'm not ruled by it.. my heart doesn't hurt when he does go..
it's kinda weird about how i feel.. it's like a numb sensation..
almost like an i don't care feeling..

oh sure i think about him, most of the time..
but it's not the obsessive type of thoughts, that usually
come with being in love..
i just try to look forward to the time we do get to meet..
and we don't always have to have sex.. it's just so nice and perfect
just to lay together in bed and talk..

there's something about him that gets me feeling so lustful
that i pounce on him when he gets to my room..
i don't know what it is but that's how i feel when i see him..

and it's even weirder that he's my ex husband..
someone i've spent the last 14 yrs, hating and wishing
the most horrible thoughts for..
and in just one night.. all is forgiven but not forgotten..
and a new beginning of a relationship that skipped the friendship
level and just went into the lustful mode..

my sister always tells me to have more fun..
and i'm really doing that, as much as i can..
even if i can't have the relationship i want, i will take what i can get..
and just be the other woman in a secret affair with her ex husband..