if given the chance..

if you were given the chance to confront an ex-friend who had turned on you and put you thru something really hellish so that they could control and torment you.. would you tell them off like you had wanted to?

i'm not sure if i should confront my ex-best friend.. the internet is such a marvelous tool to find people even those you hate.. and i found the bitch that helped destroy my marriage, my self-esteem and worth, and almost my sanity.. all becuz she was jealous of me..

it was the most horrible year of my life.. she sure knew how to fuck me up.. and being my best friend at the time, she had knowledge of everything about me.. the main reason i want her to tell me is why..
why would she push me so far that i was not sure what was real? and all the lies and "people" she created to talk to me thru emails.. why go to such an elaborate scheme to make me a puppet on her strings?

it's been 10yrs now.. granted i should just leave it be and let it lie..
and i recently discovered that everything she had done to me is now considered stalking..
there are women stalkers who target other women.. always someone they know.. as a means of jealousy..

jealous of me? i still find it so hard to believe.. but my sister told me that there is plenty of reasons for girls to be jealous of me.. mainly becuz of the strong morale code i have.. the respect i have for myself.. the strength of will.. and just basically becuz i am a strong person..

when those other girls have what i want.. the skinny bodies that look good in a bikini.. their outgoing personalities.. all the men that hang on them.. but yet they are jealous of me..??

i still find it totally bizarre.. Scorp told me that maybe i should be flattered, their jealousy is a form of flattery..
but that flattery doesn't feel good when it leaves you feeling terrorized, confused and tormented..

and now the bitch has been advertising herself as a "power psychic"..
what a crock of shit.. she wasn't the least bit psychic 10yrs ago.. she was just a psycho..
that i found out too late..

what a decision.. to confront her or to just leave it alone..

usually those people never remember what they've done to people.. only what has been done to them..
and i wonder if anything she ever told me was true.. or did she make everything up..?

i still question my judgement sometimes..
i'm always able to find these people.. am i drawn to them or are they drawn to me?

i don't know..