lied to.. again..

she's not really leaving shithead.. it was a fib..
she's leaving him behind for the moment until she can raise enough monies to get them their own place back here..
and once again, she's turned to me to help her out.. not financially since i really can't do that..
but with a place to stay, to get away from shithead's psycho mother and the constant fighting..
until she can get on her feet enough to bail him out, yet again..

i haven't said anything to her about that.. i've been happy knowing that she's coming back home..
but after thinking about it.. it really hurts that she really doesn't have her eyes open to leave him behind becuz he's nothing but holding her back and holding her down..
she's still holding onto him like the friggin' holy grail or something..

he's nothing but shit.. and will always be shit.. and can never aspire to something better..
he has no plans to be better than shit..
even now.. he plays video games with his friends, takes his meds and is still basically living like a kid at home..

i am hurt that she would lie to me.. not me of all people..
she's my best friend.. and yet becuz of this piece of shit asshole.. she's still stuck with him..
it's like she can't breathe without him..
but of course.. i have to lie to her too..
this whole shithead thing, i still can't forgive him for what he's done.. i can't forget the unholy hell he put us thru..
i can't just let it go.. like it never happened..
it was the most horrific experience in my life.. involving police almost on a daily basis.. and trips to the courthouse for almost 30 days straight..
and after all of that.. she still won't let him go.. she still loves him..

it still makes me sick.. i really can't be around him.. becuz i just want to beat the fuck out of him..
i would like to turn his face into ground beef.. and let the street dogs eat him.. or throw him into the ocean and let the fish dine on his bloody pulp..

and of course i've been spreading the lie to everyone.. that she's leaving him.. that she's finally tired of his shit..
and now i know that it's not true.. but i can't tell anyone else that..
they would be so angry at her.. for not being able to see his true nature..
he may be the baby's father, but he can never be a father..
he can't provide.. he can't help take care of him..
his disability monies now, partially go to his first son from another woman, whom he's still married to, legally!!
my sis' son will be getting nothing!

i feel sorry for that boy.. he's been screwed since his conception.. and will still get screwed over as long as she's with shithead..

i know what it's like to be fucked over by family..
it's happened to me all my life.. and it's still happening..
becuz i love my sister so much..

the things i do for my family.. even at my expense with no compensation to be expected..

but isn't that what family should do..? help out whenever and whatever the need is?
no matter how fucked up the situation..