i don't like to hear her cry..

i don't think she's lying to me this time..

my sister was crying on the phone this morning, feeling so miserable about being where she is..
shithead's mom yelled at her at 1am today becuz baby Kyuss woke up and started to cry..
he's fucking 9 months old.. he's gonna be crying at all hours of the day and night.. get used to it..

but now not much longer will she have to be there..
i hope that when i go down there to pack her up and bring her home.. that bitch isn't around so i won't go off on her for being so fucking selfish and treating my sister and her baby like crap..

last night i had a dream that i was confronting shithead telling him to never come near my sister again or else i would turn his face into ground beef..

i want so bad to just go down there right now and get her and bring her up here.. i don't like to hear her so upset and miserable..

shithead's mom is making her pay for his crimes and sins becuz she can't get to shithead.. so she's trying thru Sis and he still doesn't care..

his mom is a total clueless bitch.. getting upset that the baby cries in the middle of the night..
geezus.. that's what babies do.. don't you know that you stupid selfish clueless cow?!

i think Sis is finally seeing the light..
that the love she wants.. cannot and will not save her when she needs it the most..
that's part of our curse.. that the men we love abandon us when things get too rough..
they cannot stomach or handle the hardships that go along in a relationship.. they bail as soon as they find a way..

and shithead leaves the house for hours and hours all day and most of the night.. to avoid what's happening at the house..
leaving Sis and the baby alone.. to deal with his mother's bullshit..

i was crying on the phone with Sis today.. feeling so angry that she's being treated like a deadbeat trailer park trash sucking on the welfare tit..
she only took the welfare for Kyuss' sake becuz shithead's mom is taking too much money for rent and bills.. leaving almost nothing for him to be fed and clothed and diapered..

what a selfish rotten grandma ! taking monies away from her grandson..
and of course she doesn't think she's being over demanding.. she's justifying her expenses to herself..

if i was her kid.. i would never ever want to be around her.. i would have run away as soon as i was old enough to walk..
but thank the gods she isn't my mother..
as dysfunctional as my mother is.. she never would have taken monies away from the baby..
she'd most likely smack him around and yell at him.. but never take away monies that take care of him..

it's not completely Sis' fault that she's in this mess..
shithead's mom promised to help take care of her and the baby.. but what Sis didn't realize was that it was a lie.. and setup really means.. a setup to be used, abused and destroyed..

it takes time to learn the codes..
and we're ready to take those classes on how to manipulate, use and destroy others to get what we want no matter who gets hurt..

we are straight shooters.. playing by the rules.. thinking of others before taking actions..
but it's not working for us..
we get used and abused and then dumped all the time.. fucking stepping stones that benefit those fuckers who fuck us..

i'm sick of it!
i've had enough!

and goddammitt! enough is enough!