Only my love burns away, As my life fades into hell

Mom is now on in-home hospice care, because she is eating puree foods with a plastic syringe..  and she's having a hard time walking and she sleeps pretty much the whole day..
Hospice brought us a hospital bed for Mom to lay in..
she hasn't been in a bed for 7 years becuz of her back with the hardware in it and it's forcing her to hunch over pretty severe..  she's very comfortable in this bed that we can adjust to have her sit up a bit and not completely lay down..  she sleeps so soundly now..  she doesn't wear regular clothes anymore for the nurses to easily be able to clean her and bandage her bed sores..  she has a sacrum bedsore that literally is a tunnel to her tail bone..  it's not nice to see...
Mom now wears the large nightshirts that is sliced up the back below the collar, so that the nurse can clean her and change her briefs(adult diapers) and care for her bed sores..

Dad and i now have to change her becuz of her stiff limbs, it takes both of us to do this..  we also have to position her on the bed to make her comfortable and laying on a side off her butt for the bed sores to heal a bit..

it's a daily thing we have to do, change her briefs in the morning, lunchtime and after dinner..  we are getting better at it, Hospice nurses showed us how to do this because they are not at the house all the time..  we have to do some of her care ourselves..  i'm always calling them for needing to be taught how to do things..  it's not fun but it's interesting to have that skill..

Dad has been angry at me for forcing him to agree to hospice care for Mom.. becuz her condition wasn't quite real for him i guess, and now he sees how she has deteriorated..  and he's been just giving me a load of crap daily about anything about it..  i finally put up with so much that i yelled back at him to not dump on me becuz Mom is beyond our DIY home care, she needs extra medical attention, which she is getting with hospice care..  nurses come every other day to check on her progression and her sores.. and she gets bed baths every other day too..  since she can't quite make it to the shower..

this is all about keeping Mom comfortable..  and that's where we have had to go.. in-home Hospice care..  which is a Medicare benefit that covers hospice 100%, even though Dad doesn't believe they do, he's expecting a bill..  he yells at me about that too..   which i was reassured that he won't see a bill.. 

i'm tired, i'm exhausted, i'm just wanting to cry so much that i can purge myself of these built-up, pent-up feelings, but right now i can't..  dammit..